Anyone who’s listened to oldies radio or classic rock radio will have no doubt run into the 1970 song “25 or 6 to 4” by Chicago. The song, written by group keyboardist Robert Lamm, dealt with having trouble writing a song.
So it is with me. This is the usual pattern of things whenever I try to get a blog up and running. I begin with white hot intensity. Then, as I begin to lose beginners enthusiasm, I sink into writers block. While I’m experiencing writer’s block, I make a few feeble attempts at getting content up. Then, I give up dejected before heading to the next project.
I refuse let that happen with this blog.
In the first place, this blog is a journal of my faith. Thus, it is the most personal blog I have ever wrote. I want to use it to give glory to my Lord Jesus, and document my thought as I strive to move closer to Him in this process of sanctification. I want it to be honest and real.
So I am making an honest attempt at plowing through this spell of writer’s block in hopes of emerging out on the other side into, Lord willing, a fertile creative period where I can use whatever marginal writing ability I possess to be a blessing to Jesus and other people.
So how am I doing?
Good. I am over a month into my Christian walk and I am joining Hope City Church in Waterloo. Currently we are going through a series on the book of Nehemiah. Pastor Q seems like he is using the theme of restoration in our lives and our community as his approach.
But lately I find myself getting into my old manner of thinking. I suppose it was bound to happen at some point. Although I am a new creation in Jesus, the old man still lingers. I keep thinking of ways I could volunteer at the church or use what I think my abilities are, I have to check myself. Am I wanting to do these things for God’s glory or my own? Do I want to be a leader because I want to serve or do I want to be one because I want top level status in my church? Do I have any business thinking I can serve in the first place?
I’m asking these things because I want my motivation Jesus-centered rather than me-centered. And I suppose that is one of the reasons I suspect that, after numerous attempts at a Christian life, I finally actually became a Christian. I never asked myself in previous attempts if whatever it was I was doing meshed with what God wanted me to do.
Maybe that struggle with trying to come up with some self-serving glorious content for you, dear reader, is the reason I got writer’s block to begin with. I suppose that is possible. It’s pretty easy to slip into old modes of thinking. And since I write about my faith, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to think that Satan would attempt to play on my self-aggrandizing to snuff out whatever writing talent I have that may be useful to the Kingdom.
So where do I go from here?
Well, right now, my road leads to my living room where I will do my devotional and pray before I head into work.
I wish I could think of a better way to end this post but I have writer’s block.